how totally lame is that? i haven't blogged in over 60 days!!!
i will say that it has been an absolutely insane couple of months, so maybe that can be a real excuse. and when i say insane, i mean it! um...lemme toss this one out there for a teaser--in my true, beat-around-the-bush style--
on sept. 11, (nice day eh?) my best friend of 23 years finally gained the courage to leave her husband (married only 5 years & no kids together). a few hours after i picked her up from her house, she told me how much of a sense of relief and contentment she felt after making the decision. well...that wouldn't last long because her newly estranged (i've always hated that word, especially now!) decided he wasn't going to let her go on her own free will, so he showed up and busted into my house, kicked the door in, assulted me on the way to get to her and ended up pulling a 9mm handgun on both of us and kidnapping her. yup. you read it right folks. it was a titch scary to say the least.
the following hour was the longest one in my life. as i retold the scene to the Sheriffs Deputy, they were working on tracking her cell phone via GPS (totally CSI!). She was able to talk him out of his craziness and get the gun away from him (anyone hiring hostage situation professionals?). The officers located their vehicle from the GPS and pulled him over and arrested him.
after booking him on a 6 figure bail, he was able to post bond and out within 24 hrs. charges include burglary 1, kidnapping 1, menacing with a firearm and unlawful use of a weapon. whats even scarier is that a friend of his almost posted bail for him THAT EVENING before we had a chance to get hidden out of town! The 3 hours that I thought he was possibly being released that evening were the most terrifying hours of my entire life. I knew the first place he would go would be to find her at my house and we hadn't had a chance to get her into protective custody yet.
anyways--after being in complete hiding for 2 weeks, we were finally too sick and tired of not having our lives and found out that it would be months before he was behind bars anyways, so we took the small steps first of coming home. it was hard at first because you are scared at every sound, lock EVERY door every time, pull every curtain, shop at stores that aren't on your normal route etc. sleeping with a loaded gun by your bedside is probably the worst part though. aside from when you have to hide it as you walk to the car whenever you want to go somewhere and you have to put it in the glovebox. CRAZINESS I TELL YOU!
so, this is how i lived for about 6 weeks of my life in 2008. after a while of the guy following his restraining order rules, it lightens up and you get less fearful every day, but its a terrible feeling to have your security and sense of safety stripped from you because of one persons selfishness.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that it turned out ok for us, i can't help but feel SO awful for people/women who are in this situation and their perpetrators don't follow the rules and continue to terrorize them.
also, after i realized that my friend was indeed in an abusive relationship (only mental, not physical until that day) i did quite a bit of research on mental and emotional control and abuse and i have to tell you, there are SO MANY signs that people dismiss and red flags that women can brush aside thinking that they are just very loved etc. this man never once even raised his voice at his wife or kids. doesn't spank for disipline or anything. responsible, working, dependable, all around nice, church going guy. for the bistanders, it came out of nowhere, but for my friend and i, we saw the signs--just a little too late.